"RAWR!" said Holdution. "BEEP, GRRRR, BEEP!"
"If you were ever going to turn back into nice Holdution, the time would be now!" said Holden.
"BOOOPEDY BEEP BOP!" said Holdution who continued to grow in size.
"DANG!" said Holden as he reached for the ring and firmly grasped it!
"Wait, Holden!" said Holdution. "I've, beep, gone back to normal!"
"Too late!" said Holden as he pulled out the nose ring which acted as a pin for the grenade that Holden had surgically implanted into Holution's head when they were on Planet Kamino.
"BAHBAHBOOWIEBAMBAMBIGALOOBAM!" said the explosion. Holdution's head disintegrated into fire, and metal shrapnel flew everywhere, a majority attaching itself to the left half of Holden's face! He looked like the Terminator after half of his face-skin was pulled off.
"Gee whiz, that hurt like a mother--"
"Can you smell," said a stupid voice "what The Rock is cooking?!"
"Dangit!" said Holden. "This day was going okay, but now that you're here it sucks!" Holden pushed away the now headless body of his half-brother and turned to face the most stupid man in history. "Hello, The Rock," said Holden.
"Finally, The Rock has come back to life!" said The Rock. "Now you will pay for your crimes against The Rock!"
Holden turned his hook into a buzz saw and cut off The Rock's head.
"That was annoying," said Holden. "Why doesn't anybody ever die in the future?"
Just then he noticed something in the distance. Squinting, he realized it was a lighthouse, which he found odd, because there wasn't any ocean in Columbia, only future space.
Holden flew to the entrance, opened the door, and walked inside. Or, he thought he had walked inside. He was pretty sure, after all. However, when he stepped through the door, he simply stepped out of a different lighthouse.
"What in the name of Piggy's glasses is going on?" said Holden. He turned to go back through the door, but it was gone. "Da hail is going on hur?" He continued searching around for some clue to show him where he was. Then, he spotted a billboard.
Evil Holdumbia: Like Columbia, but evil and made by Evil Holden of the Dark Jed.
"POPPYCOCK!" said Holden. "I am so close to swearing right now!"
"Did someone say swearing?" asked a voice.
"Yes."
A man flew over Holden's head and landed in front of him. "Oh," he said "well, um, okay. I didn't really have anything to say after than but never mind. My name is Magenetto. I have power of metal and nets, but not metal nets. Those are too difficult to control.
"Okay. Well, I'm better than you," replied Holden.
"Nice to meetcha!" exclaimed Magenetto. "You look familiar. Could you possibly be Holden from another dimension?"
"Possibly. Also, yes," aid Holden.
"Well, that explains it!" said Magenetto. "That's why that lighthouse appeared. In Columbia, we didn't have any boats so we tried to figure out what to do with all of our lighthouses. Then some crazy scientists were all like 'Let's turn them into doors that lead to different dimensions' and everybody else was like 'Okay'," explained Magenetto.
"That's kinda dumb, but what'evs." said Holden.
"In fact, you came just in time to help me with my plan!"
"What plan?" Holden asked.
"Right now, Columbia is floating directly over Evil Holden's base. So together, we can cut the power to the generator and then Columbia will fall on top of Evil Holden and he will die. This will be a powerful blow to the Dark Jed."
"Sure, why not? I don't have anything better to do."
"Perfect," said Magenetto "but the generator room is super hot so you'll need a suit to get in! Hey, I have an idea!"
"What?" asked Holden. Magenetto started to flail his arms around and from out of nowhere metal object and nets started to fly at Holden. "What's going on?!" he exclaimed.
"I'm going to attach a bunch of metal to you so you won't get burned!"
"Wait, no, I don't think that's how metal works!" Metal collided against his body until Holden was covered from the neck down. "It's so heavy!"
"It will protect you from heat!"
"But doesn't metal get really hot really quickly?"
"Oops! Well, too late now!" said Magenetto. "Let's go!"
The dynamic due, now official known as Holdenetto, ventured deep below the surface of Evil Holdumbia to the generator room. The generators were so powerful that their hum shook the floor.
"So, what's the plan?" asked Holden.
"THIS!" said Magenetto as he raised his arm. Holden was lifted off the gorund via Magenetto's magnetic powers.
"Hey Magenetto, what'cha doing?" asked Holden.
"I'm going to throw you into the generator! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot that you are evil too! Shoot."
"Shanks for the memories, Holden!" said Magenetto as he thrust his hand forward and sent Holden crashing into the generator that held Evil Holdumbia afloat. Wisely, Holden used his hook hand to create a helmet over his head. The rest of his body, however, wasn't so lucky. The metal fused to his caramel colored skin.
"GOOD GRACIOUS, THIS HURTS A LOT!" he screamed. After about five minutes the flames died down and Holden uncovered his head. "I best be flying outta' here!" he said, but then realized he couldn't get off the ground. "NEOOOOW! This metal is too heavy! I CAN'T FLY!" Holden needed to formulate a plan, and fast. But Holden isn't smart, so he just jumped off the side of Evil Holdumbia yolo-ing
He slowed his descent as much as he could using his flying powers, but he didn't have much time.
"Wait, I have an idea! I always forget that I'm a wizard," he said. "Accio lighthouse!" Instantly Holden's wand pulled him furiously towards the ground! "WOH!" said Holden. "HAIILPP!" He braced himself as he hurtled towards a lighthouse on the ground. "Awwww man!" he screamed as he crashed through the lighthouse's roof.
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