Part 2: Chapter Eight-point-five

     "China wasn't good to me," said I, Dlanor. "I wasn't even supposed to be there, but I had to flee America after I was falsely accused of killing George Washington Carver. Twice. Three years living among the Shenmu Clan can really change a nice redheaded boy like me. At first, they did not accept me. They demanded the skin of a tiger. So, for one year, I disguised myself as a tiger by cutting the hair of my head and sticking it to my body. I learned the way of the tiger and was transformed into a killing machine. It was the worst day of my life when I had to kill the elder tiger and steal his pelt, but, when I brought the pet back, the Shenmu finally accepted me. They trained me in the way of the sword and the egg roll. The rest of my time in China was pretty much just like Kung-Fu Panda. I am the Dragon Warrior."

     "Wow, um, that was, like, super boring," said Holden.

     "What?" I asked.

     "That whole story kind of sucks," said Holden. "It's super unoriginal. Like, why do you describe your story as being, like, part of a movie? Who does that?
     "Um, okay," I said, because I could see there was no reasoning with this idiot.

     "So, listen, Dlanor. I'm going to need you to go into Mercution's base, alone and unarmed, and kill him," said Holden.

     "Are you crazy?" I asked.

     "I would never go into the women's room! Now, how about you don't complain and just do it, okay?"

     "No way, I would get killed!" I shouted, and then Holden raised him arm and stumped me. It felt like being hit by a beanie baby.

     "Just go!" said Holden as he pushed a button on the wall, opening a portal on the floor. "This will take you to Mercution's base, now go!"

     "Fine," I said as I hopped into the portal. Before I knew it, I was standing in a cave. A doom cave. This was Doom Mountain.

     I walked around for a while, investigating and such. After about two days I discovered a box labeled Age Decompiler.

     "Hahahahaha!" cackled a voice. It was that old soldier that had brought be to Holden. "I knew that if I followed you here that you would find the Age Decompiler! Now I will become young again!"

     He pushed a button on the side of the box and was enveloped in a blinding white light. I closed my eyes and, when I opened them again, a strapping young man stood before me. His silver hair had turned chocolate brown, and his detailed features had become boxy and blurred.

     "Oh lordy!" I said.

     "Hahhhahahaha! Now that I am youthful, I can destroy the resistance and the robots, and then I will become the undisputed champion of the WORLD!" yelled the soldier. "I will start by killing you! HAhahahahaarrrrrghghghghgggghhhh!" He screamed, falling to the ground with a sword plunged through his belly.

     "That was a close one!" said Holden as he picked up the Age Decompiler and killed me.

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