Part 3: Chapter Nine-point-one

     "Hey, Partner," said a trustworthy voice. "Looks like you have a snake in your boot. Or, should I say, a nearly lethal dose of methane in your lungs."

     "Tom, I'm glad to see you, old friend," said Holden to his good friend Tom Hanks. Tom lent Holden a hand and pulled him off the floor. Holden looked around and discovered they were in a laboratory of some sort, perhaps a science laboratory.

     "Hey Tommy Boy, mind telling me where we are?"

     "Sure, H. We're in a lab I constructed on Neptune that's specialized in anti-robot defense and research."

     "Oh, so that's where you took that rocket thirteen years ago," said Holden.

     "Yes. After you helped me escape from the Chinese prison I went straight to the rocket yard and used my overwhelming charm and charisma to snag a rocket."

     "Nice, so you flew here all by yourself and built this factory. But, the question still remains, why? WHY? WHHHHHYYYY?"

     "Because of me!" said Owen Wilson. He emerged from the shadows a man, not a car-man-robot.

     "Oh, hey Owen," said Holden awkwardly. "How's it been?"

     "Not so good. You tried to kill me," said Owen. "Remember?"

     "Umm, yeah. You look great, might I say," said Holden. "Have you lost weight?"

     "Well, I'm not a car anymore. So, yeah."

     "Cool, cool. Cool," said Holden, scratching the back of his head while avoiding eye contact. "So, was that? Like, a diet or exercise routine or what?"

     "Actually, it was a nanobot pill specialized in destroying other robots."

     "Oh, cool. Good job," Holden said, still avoiding eye contact. He pulled out his two faced coin and started flipping it casually.

     "Would you like a pill, Holden? I see that your body is covered in metal, and the nanobots will eat them off for you."

     "I mean, sure, I guess. I mean, if you have extras," he said as he placed the coin on his knuckles and attempted to roll it across the back of his hand, but failed. The coin noisily hit the floor and rolled under a table. "Crap," he said, getting on his knees to reach under the table and retrieve it. Once he had it, he stood and awkwardly whistled into the air. "So," he said "you still got those pills?"

     "Oh just take it," said Owen, more than a little annoyed.

     "Oh, cool, awesome!" exclaimed Holden.

     Owen handed Holden the pill, and he tossed it into the air, leaned his head back, and opened his mouth, poised to catch it. The pill hit the ground about two feet away from Holden.

     "Shoot," he said "it's so windy today."

     "We're inside," said Tom.

     "Oh, well, no bits." He picked up the pill and licked it off his hand. Immediately he felt like he was completely covered with butt holes, and every butt hole was being stabbed. "Ow," he said, passing out.


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